The 2026 Winter Olympics have come and gone, showcasing all that we anticipate from the Olympic Games. The excitement. The nerves. The victory celebrations. The heartbreaking defeats. But it also brought something a little less expected: a masterclass in joy from United States figure skater, Alysa Liu. Liu had retired from figure skating after the previous Winter Olympics at just 16, after experiencing burnout and a growing resentment toward her sport. When she decided to come back after much reflection, she declared to do it “her way”. She showed up consistently, embraced the hard work, and persevered through doubt.
Her goal for the Olympics wasn’t to win a gold medal, but rather to share her artistry with the world and have fun. She walked around the arena emanating kindness and joy. She embraced her competitors, cheered them on, and celebrated with them. Then, when it was her turn to compete on the world’s biggest stage under enormous pressure, she skated a flawless program with unbridled happiness and hardly a trace of nerves.
And she won.
Which begs the question: how did she do it? How did she go from being burnt out and retired to a joyous gold medalist? Let’s break it down.
When we have a big goal, it’s tempting to constantly look ahead and dream about the outcome. However, when we do this, we are missing a huge opportunity for growth. Focusing on the process means breaking a big goal down into smaller chunks, whether that be by month, week, or even day. When we do this, we are able to focus on the factors within our control, which can feel a lot less overwhelming than looking at the big picture. Being process-oriented can also help improve internal motivation, which directly impacts persistence and resilience. Just imagine how much better it would feel to hit smaller, realistic goals along the way rather than focusing on an end goal that you may or may not achieve!
Being nervous isn’t a bad thing; it just means that what you’re doing is important to you. It’s important to learn how to make nerves your friend – they’ve shown up to help you, so let them! Get curious about your nerves by reflecting on how nervous or anxious you were before your best and your worst performance. How nervous were you feeling before each? What were you thinking about? What was your mood like? Who were you with and what were you doing? Everyone has a different energy level that works best for them, so the key is finding out what kind of headspace you need to be in to perform your best.
Getting something wrong isn’t failure, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow. If we never encountered failures, we would never be able to practice what to do and how to act when we are faced with adversity. In fact, the tough stuff like failure, is the key to building resilience and grit. I’m not sure you could find any high-level athlete who hasn’t been through some hardships. It’s what makes champions. And not only does embracing the speed bumps make you tougher, but it can also make you happier. When we are able to take the pressure off and welcome feedback (whether that’s through mistakes or other difficulties), we are also better able to enjoy the journey, and maybe even have some fun.
Liu’s journey is a powerful reminder that success doesn’t come from chasing perfection—it comes from finding joy in the process. When we shift our focus away from outcomes and toward growth, embrace our nerves instead of fearing them, and learn from the inevitable challenges along the way, we give ourselves the best chance to thrive. Whether in sport or in life, the athletes and individuals who succeed are often the ones who learn to enjoy the ride.
If you are helping your child adopt this kind of mindset, it’s important to keep a few things in mind. First, identify your child’s own goals and values. If their needs and interests aren’t placed first, they will have an extremely difficult time fostering internal motivation and resiliency. We need to be able to connect with our purpose to get through the hard stuff, even as kids. Second, focus on positive feedback that models process-oriented thinking. A good place to start is by emphasizing your child’s effort rather than the outcome, as well as aspects of their performance within their control. Third, be aware of burnout and their psychological wellbeing. It is important to review their goals, values, and motivation often, which not only fosters their own internal motivation but can also be referenced during times of difficulty. For example, if they have a hard day and want to quit, you can reference their own goals and values rather than feeling as if you’re pushing your own values onto them. Also, keep in mind that early specialization is a significant risk factor for many negative mental and physical health outcomes, such as burnout, overdependence, social isolation, injury, and compromised growth and maturation.
Helping your child develop this mindset is about guiding rather than controlling. When children feel ownership over their goals, are supported through challenges, and are encouraged to find joy in what they do, they are far more likely to stay motivated and resilient over time. By keeping their wellbeing at the center, reinforcing effort and growth, and allowing space for balance, you’re not just helping them succeed in sport—you’re helping them build skills and perspectives that will serve them for life.
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